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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816982">Gellert the Grey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/turningtodust/pseuds/turningtodust'>turningtodust</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabbles, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:42:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>632</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24816982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/turningtodust/pseuds/turningtodust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Great to read when you REALLY have nothing else to do and don't require your brain.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Leaky Cauldron, Butterbeer, Knuts, Muggle-born</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Something I saw on Reddit and thought, why not?</p><p>disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the Fifty shades of Grey trilogy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Leaky Cauldron, Butterbeer, Knuts, Muggle-born</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Huh…This pub didn't exist yesterday. "Hello, welcome to the neighbourhood mister Barman!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Tom, meh name's Tom, lassie. Welcome to the Leaky Cauldron. What can I get you?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"What do you recommend?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"For a young Lassie like yeh, Butterbeer!"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Butter-what?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Butterbeer, it will be ten knuts."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Butterbeer? Nuts?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah… muggle-born?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Muggle-born?"</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah…Here, one butterbeer on the house."</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>"Huh…Thank you, mister Tom."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Galleons, Goblins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Galleons, Goblins</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hello, mister wand crafter!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ollivander"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mister Ollivander, I would like a wand!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hum… let me see… yes… yes… I see… I see…"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Huh… it moves… it flies… How?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hum… yes… try this-Nope! Try this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*Boom*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*Roar*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*Pssssh…brrrrrroar*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*Bling*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hum… yes… I think you found your match… peculiar."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What does it mean?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hum… peculiar."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Huh… mister Ollivander?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Two galleons please."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Galleons? The Romain boats?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Go see the goblins at the bank. That white building."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Nuts, Boats, Hooks, Wix</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hello, mister Goblin!"</p><p>"Griphook"</p><p>"Mister Griphook, I would like to exchange money into nuts and galleons, please."</p><p>"Muggle money."</p><p>"Here you go mister Griphook."</p><p>"Wix money."</p><p>"Thank you!"</p><p>-</p><p>"Mister Ollivander, here are the two golden coins thingies."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Draco Malfoy, Flying brooms</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hello, mister blondie, or is it whitey?"</p><p>"Who are you? Better question, how do you not know me? My name is Malfoy, Draco Malfoy."</p><p>"Hello, mister Malfoy! Why are you so focussed on choosing the perfect broom? Isn't it good enough if it sweeps right?"</p><p>"Sweeping? No, surely you mean to fly?"</p><p>"Fly? Ooh! I want one! How much?"</p><p>"Ten galleons… who are you? How do you not know about brooms?"</p><p>"Thanks, bye mister Malfoy!"</p><p>"Hey!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hogwarts, Dumbledore, Muggle studies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hullo students, may I present your new muggle studies professor~"</p><p>"Hello, minions!"</p><p>"A special announcement, the corridor on the third floor is off-limits for the pain of death~"</p><p>-<br/>"Hello, mister Turban."</p><p>"He-Hello, My n-name is Qu-Quirrel."</p><p>"Hello ma'am MacGoogle"</p><p>"McGonagall."</p><p>"Hello, ma'am Segment"</p><p>"It's Vector! Septima Vector."</p><p>"Hello, mister Snape"</p><p>"Snape!… uh… right."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Pen, Paper & Muggle studies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hello, minions!"</p><p>"Hullo teach"</p><p>"This is a ballpoint peeen, created by Bic. This is paaaper, from treeees. Repeat after me. P.E.N. Pen."</p><p>"P.E.N. Pen"</p><p>"Good job minions. Now, P.A.P.E.R Paper."</p><p>"P.A.P.E.R. Paper."</p><p>"Perfect. Now, hold the pen like a Quill. And write on the paper as if it's parchment."</p><p>*Scritch* *Scritch*</p><p>"Good job minions."</p><p>-<br/>"Minions, this is a magical workbook with unlimited paper!"</p><p>"Oooh"</p><p>"Open to the first page and write your name with your new Bic."</p><p>*Scritch* *Scritch*</p><p>"Good job minions, turn to page 2. Read your daily lesson and do the exercise on the following page. Make sure to finish tracing all the letters for the next class!"</p><p>*Scritch* *Scritch*</p><p>-<br/>"Minions, this is a rubix cube! A fascinating game. Turn the faces to get identical colors on each side!"</p><p>-<br/>"Minions, this is a talkie-walkie."</p><p>"Oooh"</p><p>-<br/>"Minions, remember the rubix-cube? This is the transfiguration cube!"</p><p>"Aaaaah"</p><p>-<br/>"Minions, this is Lego! Enjoy stacking them together and building your perfect Manse."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Behind the scenes 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Behind the scenes</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*The new teacher writing runes on paper and sticking it on the trap door*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*Mr. Turban trying to access the trap door and disappearing*</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Fifty shades of Grey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Students, I am sorry to announce that Mr Quirrel has disappeared and will be replaced by Mr Gerard Grey, Mr Grey, smile and wave~"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello Mr Grin, I mean Grey."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hello Miss, are you a 7th year?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No-pe! Muggle studies teacher."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh… Goodbye"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Bye Mr Wild, I mean, Mr Grey."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Minions! This is a New Muggle book, Fifty Shades of Grey, Enjoy"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Minions! Here is the continuation: Fifty shades darker"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Minions! Fifty shades freed! This ends the trilogy. I want an essay on the relation between it and Dark Lords!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"but, teach, there isn't any relations!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wrong! dig deeper and darker minion!"</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Behind the scenes 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>Behind the scenes</span>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*The muggle teacher gives the rune scroll to the owl with a specification for the Elves of Numengard.*</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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